I guess lets start with just laying it out there. Dating sucks. Especially as you leave your mid 20s behind, dating really sucks. Especially when, like me, you add in a strong sense of independence, introvert-ism, and knowledge of your self worth. Dating does nothing for your self esteem in the long run.... that is at least until you've found your person.... or so I've heard.
Dating in high school and college.... sure I guess that could be described as fun. Your still a kid and realistically, dates include going out to dinner, a movie, or ice cream, and then an awkward good night as you stand in front of your house or dorm building. At this stage in life, dating can still easily be done in groups, you can have friends with you and all of you go on a group date to dinner or whatever. That part of dating had some fun aspects. I'll give you that.
But once you graduate college and actually become an adult with a job and responsibilities, it all seems to go down hill. All of those great adult things that we couldn't wait to get to actually kind of suck. You have to pay rent, or your mortgage, every month, and most of the time, your parents aren't there to help you with it, and you can't use your student loans to cover a place to live. The cost of paying for utilities is insane. And lets not forget the fact that you don't have that dream schedule any longer. More than likely, most people end up working either a "traditional" 9-5 type job, or they end up working shifts, and then you have to deal with a totally different schedule. But mostly, long gone are the days where you don't have to do anything before 10 AM, classes end by 3:00 at the latest, and that schedule only applies to Tuesdays and Thursdays. The other days of the week, you are free to do whatever you want.
Let's be honest - this line from SATC has stuck with me since the first time I saw it. I'm on 17 years of dating..... This shit gets old really fast. Especially when you see all of your friends and family finding the one and getting married.
In a not self centered way, I like to think I'm a catch. I'm attractive, smart, passionate, I love visiting different places and exploring new cities. I own my own home, I have had a stable job with the same school district for 9 years - since I graduated. I have a masters degree and furthering my own education is important to me. I have a great personality, a great group of friends, and I love my family. I'm a romantic at heart, but I also don't take shit from people and stand up for what I believe in. I'm a good cook, but still love to eat out. I look to new activities and challenges in order to grow and better myself. But still, the above scene from SATC is still the only TV show line or movie line that I have ever felt really described where I am at.
And yet somehow, I have been left with the awful options that online dating offers. I've been on them ALL. And let me tell you, they all suck. OK Cupid, Tinder, Hinge, Match, Bumble, E Harmony, all of them. Any guy that is in my age range, single, and that I find attractive wants nothing more than a quick f*ck. Then there are the 22 year olds who I would never consider in my life due to their age, or the creepy ones that like to send cheesy pervy pick up lines or dick pics. And then there are the ones that look nothing like their profile pictures - those are always fun. Or the ones that say all the right things and then turn into the snap chat ghost. This is somehow all I have to choose from.
Seriously, when did it get that hard to find a guy. I'm not expecting something out of a romance novel, really I'm not. I don't need the tall dark and drop dead sexy guy to show up at my door mistakenly and fall head over heals (not that I would object to that). But really, is it that hard to find a guy that has a stable job (I don't care if that job is blue collar or a doctor), can take care of himself, is close with his family, has a good education, liberal, doesn't smoke, and attractive and single? Seeing as attractiveness is really individual taste, I don't feel like this should be that hard to accomplish. When did initial messages like "Hi I'm drunk!" or "Wanna suck my d*ck?" become appropriate first impressions?
Don't get me wrong, I am happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life. I am perfectly content to remain single at this point. And maybe that's the issue. I have no plans on settling, because as I mentioned at first, I'm independent, know who I am, and what I want out of life. But again, when did this become a bad thing? How did those traits mean I am bound to end up alone?
So with all of that being said, I would like to entertain you all with the stories that I have collected over the years and continue to collect - the good dates, the bad dates, and everything in between.
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